A couple of years back, when I was studying Sport science, I had a pretty good view of who I was. I was a healthy person. I went up early, because that is what healthy persons do. I didn’t eat any junk food, because healthy persons think about what they eat. I didn’t drink any alcohol, because that is not good for your body. I was training a lot, because that like the definition of healthy and also I kinda love training.
I’m not saying I had a problem with this (even if it might sound like it putting it this way, although I might be exaggerate it a bit). I was very aware and happy with my choices and really sure how I wanted my life to be. What might could have been a problem was that I was also very sure of how things were suppose to be in general, to that extent that I was trying to convince people around me to live their lives more like me. Everything was categorized, either it was or either it wasn’t, there was no in between. So when things didn’t fit into my categories or definitions it was sometimes hard for me to handle, and when I still tried to cling on to my definitions I was so confused. Eventually it all turned into principles that I lived by just because.
So one night, not to long ago, I was out with some friends. It started out like just any other night. I had no thoughts of doing anything differently. Although after a while I found myself thinking ”tonight I want to drink” and so I did, after about 8 years of no alcohol. Weird. That night everything changed and at the same time it was all the same. I was still a healthy person, I just chose to drink that night.
If you have read this far about my story, I thank you. My point with this text and the reason I shared my story isn’t to tell you that we should stop define our self or stop having an idea of how we want to be. I’m saying that we should be open for alternatives. We so often have ideas about our self and others and the problem can occur when we define our self to hard or to straightforward and sticks to them just because.
Now a days my point of view is different from before
At least I try to be..
I’m also starting to understand that everything isn’t categorized. There isn’t a rule that says you have to be this way if you have this label.
It’s not either this or either that.
It can be both.
We can both be a ”healthy” person and an ”unhealthy” person
We can sometimes drink alcohol without being alcoholics
We can sometimes eat junk food and still have a healthy diet
We can sometimes skip training and still be a trained person
We are not defined by these single choices.
We are also not defined by our thoughts when they tell us horrible things about our self. That we are worthless, that we can’t do it. That’s not who you are.
If you can accept all your sides and find a balance that you’re comfortable with you will probably be more comfortable with yourself. You will probably get back faster to the person you want to be when you take a step outside your frames.
But if you hold on to hard to what you think your identity is you don’t know what possibilities you miss.
Be a both-person instead of a either-person
Be a including-person instead of a excluding-person
Be an accepting-person instead of an judging-person
So what is it that defines us then?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s all of them everyday choices we do, however big or small they might be. Maybe it’s our actions when it really matters. Maybe it’s how we think about our self and how we think of others. Or maybe it’s something else. I encourage you to find your own definition that you are comfortable with and I encourage you to be open to change it when that day comes.