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How are you?

How are you?

When was the last time you asked that question to someone and really meant it?

and

When was the last time someone else asked you that question and you gave an honest answer back?

A lot of time I think that question is just something we throw in there, as a way to fill the gap after the Hello and to seem polite although we actually don’t really care. And when we get that question we feel obligated to say something like ”It’s all good” or maybe complain a little bit about work, but that’s that.

Sometimes I also perceive that when asking that question without any further reason the other person translate that to ”It looks like you are not doing okay” and think about that as something negative, when in reality the person who asked was truly curious and caring about you.

And even tho you actually looked like you where not doing okay, try to be thankful for your friend who acknowledge that and took the time to ask. Because you know what. It’s okay to not always be okay. It’s also okay to be okay. And maybe instead of just answering ”It’s okay/It’s not okay”, maybe think about what makes you feel this way, no matter if it’s a positive or negative feeling, share on or two things that happened recently that makes you feel the way you do and talk about that.

Of course all of this is depends on the situation, because somethings it just might be that it is just Okay or Not okay and there is nothing to go deeper into and even that is totally fine.

So next time you get that question, assume that the person who asks really care and give a honest answer back. Think about why you are Okay or Not okay, maybe you can find just a little thing to be grateful for that day and tell them that.

And next time you are about to ask that question, think about if you really care. Otherwise maybe don’t even ask.

Now I encourage you to ask the people you care about how they are doing more often and really listen to what they have to say.

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